Match Report – 17.1 – Game Date: 16/08/2020

BMFC 17.1: 3
Penrith Rovers FC: 0

BMFC Goal Scorers: Ash, Harry Smith, Ethan

Player of the Match: Players Player – Harry Smith

Match Report: A downpour Friday night had meant all but a few games were postponed – fortunately, the drainage on Knapsack Main 2 was in sparkling form leaving it very much playable for another big game with Rovers

A few concerns in the hour before the game – Evan taking a tumble off the ladder putting the nets up & with five minutes to go before the game, just one young Assistant Referee staring hard toward the car park & hitting re-dial again on his phone. Where was the referee and the other assistant? No show (we found out after the game they thought it had been called off – pfft, it was never in doubt!) We needed a ref. Andy went looking in our socially distanced yet heaving home support & JB stepped up

We were finally underway. We set up to cover the pace we now knew Rovers had coming from out wide. We got on top & controlled a lot of the possession early and created a few half chances. From a corner swung in by Ash, the ball was half cleared to Aidy at the edge of the 18 yard box. Aidy played a super ball cutting out the defender to Finn out on the right & he put a cross back into the box and at the far post Ash appeared getting just enough on the ball, the keeper getting to it but only after it had crossed the line

Off a Rovers throw in back to the centre half, Ethan went very close to doubling the lead – stealing the ball and shooting just wide of the goal as the keeper advanced. We then won a free kick just outside the 18 yard box and Liam having scored a few weeks earlier stepped confidently up but his strike went just over the bar

Our defence was solid. Jake’s aerial strength and ability to break up play along with Knobsy & Luke at stoppers nullifying Rovers most dangerous players. On the odd occasion someone did get beyond them, Brayden was there to sweep up & the ever reliable safe pair of hands from Eli were rarely troubled

Half time came and it was an easy team talk to deliver – keep going, keep playing the way we were, we could have been further ahead and more goals will come. We have also talked at training about putting two good half’s together – something we have only done once this season – a poor half and 1-0 will easily be turned around

Rovers pinned us back early in the second half but the defence did well – Sam had been introduced & was a wall as ever. Martin and Jake shielded & broke play up time and again in the important CDM role. Just as I was about to make a couple of changes, the boys broke away – the two Harry’s combining. Harry Burns broke through the midfield and passed to Harry Smith. Harry feigned to shoot with his right just inside the box and then cut hard onto his weaker left foot and belted the ball across the keeper into the far corner. An excellent piece of finishing

A couple of late challenges and some unsavoury language to the ref saw one of the Rovers boys given a straight red

A third goal came our way. Aidan fed cousin Harry who dribbled inside the oppositions half with Ash to his left and Ethan on his right. A timely pass and Ash’s pace saw him through one on one with the keeper. Smartly Ash squared the ball to Ethan who had been careful to stay onside and knock the ball into the empty net. Well deserved goal for our centre forward who works so hard for the team

More chances came – Harry and Ash combined again in the box but Ash hesitated and the keeper had the advantage to get the ball. Finn got away down the right & fired a bullet cross in for Ethan that was well saved. Jacob produced a brilliant bit of ‘now you see him now you don’t’ in the box and again combined with Ethan for another opportunity

A late Rovers chance hit the bar and scrambling defence by Luke cleared the ball. Typified the teams resolve to the end

Best performance of the year. Every player played their part. Very hard to pick coach’s, parents and players player and a different one for each. Clean sheet says it all about the defence. Midfield dominated – Harry Burns both Coach’s stand out. Up front, combinations were changed during the game but the goal threat was there all match

Players player went to Harry Smith for a huge impact when he went on for Ash, who also had a superb game. Terrific goal from Harry and caused trouble on both left and right wings, well done mate!

Big thank you to JB for stepping in at the last minute and ref’ing such an important game

Photo: Luke, eyes firmly focused on the the ball

Match Report – 17.1 – Game Date: 02/08/2020

BMFC 17.1: 3
Jamisontown FC: 2

BMFC Goal Scorers: Liam (2), Knobsy

Player of the Match: Players – Liam; Coach and Parents – Luke

Match Report: Finally a game kicking off later in the day than 9am – a 1pm start in glorious sunshine. Jamo’s pitch was still recovering from the downpour the week before and was narrow too. Would mean possession football through the midfield was important

Recent injuries and a couple of late arrivals decided the bench. Jamo come out of the gates quickly and pressed us back, showing some real ability going forward. The back line was solid though – Sam, Aidy, Luke with Brayden reading play and sweeping magnificently

Eli made a brilliant save from one shot just outside the box, flicking it over the bar for a corner

About 15 in we conceded a free kick about 25 yards out and a well struck shot took a wicked deflection off our wall, wrong footing Eli and into the net

We hit back well within a couple of minutes. A free kick to us was taken by Captain Aidy – a floated cross perfectly into the box, over the defence but short of their goal keeper – birthday boy Liam rising, like a salmon out of a river, to flick the ball with his head over the keeper into the net

We then got on top as the half wore on, creating a number of chances. Ethan picked the ball up at the top of midfield and surged forward, using Ash as a decoy to get a one on one with their keeper – his shot was well saved though. Jake had a long throw to the six yard box and Harry Burns got his head to it and over the keeper and onto the bar

Level at half time

We stayed on top in the first part of the second half, creating half chances. We finally found a way through with Ethan pulling the ball back from the bye line for Liam to shoot, well saved but Liam followed up & cleverly dinked the ball away from the keeper to then tap in

Jamo were dangerous on the break and one of these breaks resulted in a goal – Eli again unlucky as the shot deflected off a defender.

Time was running out when Knobsy used his twinkle toes in a packed box to create enough space to see an opening and calmly pass the ball into the bottom corner for the winner

Terrific contest. Players player Liam for two vital goals & a solid centre midfield performance – great way to enjoy your birthday. Luke was just behind in the boys voting but took both Coach’s and Parents vote for an excellent defensive performance, particularly early in the first half when we were under a lot of pressure & in the second half for getting forward & supporting the attacking side of our game

Thanks to the boys for making the Coach’s birthday special too – great performance, result & lovely surprise with the present at the end ?

Caption – Liam, having flicked his own rebounded shot away from the diving keeper, dinks the ball home to give us the lead

Match Report – AM.4 – Game Date: 02/08/2020

BMFC AM.4: 3
Penrith RSL SC: 3

BMFC Goal Scorers: Matty, Ads, Zac**(pending investigation)

Player of the Match: The Couch

Match Report: A late fixture change saw the team bus travel to neutral ground at Colo for our game against RSL.  We weren’t sure if this was to keep the fans in check due to COVID, but we hoped FIFA’s fake crowd noises would be played over the loudspeakers regardless.

Some last minute personnel changes, Niall out, Riley back in (pending someone having spare shinpads), Joe late as he couldn’t find his shinnies (editor’s note: get Mummy to pack your kits next week boys), Rod – “why is the best player in the team on the bench?” – upgraded to starting 11 until Kyle arrived late, Rod quickly voted back to the bench. 

But mostly we were all interested to see if Fingers’ breakfast of leftover KFC would be a gastronomic masterstroke of sports nutrition – he certainly was licking his lips at the prospect of getting on the scoresheet this week, or was he just cleaning up what he missed with the complimentary moist towelette?

The pitch was in good nick, Matty suitably impressed by the grass, which he confirmed as “definitely couch” – we all nodded in agreement, although he could have said buffalo/zoysia/acapulco gold we wouldn’t have had a clue either way.

We got off to a flyer, Ads given a bit more attacking freedom this week, rewarding the gaffer early for his strategic change, getting released down the sideline then finding Matty at the top of the box, his superior knowledge of the species of turf allowing him to take a shimmy to his right then burying the ball in the back of the net inside the first 5 minutes.

RSL then made a change, bringing on a striker with far too much talent for this league that required us to start having to ask a few questions at the back such as “how do we stop him without kicking him?” and “how do we stop the ref blowing the whistle everytime he goes to ground?” to name but a few… 

We moved Zac to a more central defensive role to help deal with the threat, and so began a modern day love story between striker and centre-half in the same vain as ‘Fatal Attraction’ that would last the remainder of the match…

Their hate-hate relationship aside, Slash was strong again between the sticks, making a few vital stops as the first half evened out, while up the other end Felts missed a glorious opportunity to get off the nudie run, his header off a delicious Dre free kick sailing over the crossbar – if only he could find the netting as easily as he can pick out a new rug to spill red wine all over…

RSL managed to get one back, 1 all halftime.

Second half we went back to the starting 11, mostly out of necessity due to the confusion Dre created trying to explain his numerous halftime changes but it was more of the same from RSL, their striker going down in the box after a rather innocuous attempted clearance by Slash, penalty given…

Could Slash make it 2 pen saves in back-to-back games?


Zac took time out from man handling strikers to make a little foray upfield, finding some time just outside the box to hit one sweetly, taking a rather large deflection after hitting a defender flush on the chest and falling into the goal… jury still out as to whether it was an own goal or not, could be contentious at year end during golden boot deliberations…

He then returned to exchanging stud marks at the back with his opposite number, the ref finally had had enough as this was far too much work for him to be doing before his 5pm bedtime, brandishing what Zac claims is his first ever yellow card.  And after the ensuing free kick, Matty was left brandishing a squashed tackle box, luckily child number 2 is on the way this week as he is now as baren as Felts’ goal tally.

Ads found himself in the right place at the right time (well, a stopped clock is also right twice a day) at both ends of the park in the space of a few minutes, making a goal line clearance (and claiming to the bench this week’s 3 Dally M points will surely be his, all but guaranteeing zero votes) then being least slowest (nothing fast about it) to react up the other end after Ghost’s shot was parried away from goal, picking up the scraps and slotting it in from a tight angle.  Another one off the nudie run.

RSL managed to peg one back, and with the game in the balance the new niggle brothers Dre and Zac did enough to deny a winner, whilst also avoiding more cards and any fisty cuffs.  The only other real concern of the half coming after Fingers found some room down the flank but butchered the cross so badly with his left foot we were concerned his KFC breakfast had caused a stroke and rendered the left side of his body useless… 

3 all final score, some new combinations starting to blossom but the age-old debate of VB vs New tins for the esky threatening to turn the locker room upside down…

Match Report – O35.1 – Game Date: 19/07/2020

BMFC O.35.1: 4
Jamisontown FC: 0

BMFC Goal Scorers: Zap, Thor, Sem, Archie

Player of the Match: the ref

Match Report: A few years ago, our team had the bruise brothers in Ibra & Lowndsey. Ibra’s still with us but we have a new attacking partnership – I present the Scrunchie Sisters – ok, I know, it doesn’t exactly strike fear into the opposition but Thor and Smudger do both look lovely with their top buns

Unfortunately, I missed the first two goals from Thor and Zap as I was Coaching on the other pitch (see 17.1 match report). I am told Zap pointed to the dropped Sem on the bench after he scored – the message was clear – ‘I’ve played everywhere man’ Zap believed the centre forward role was now assured as his for the rest of the season

We had a Nepean legend as the ref and he didn’t disappoint. PK was seen before the game by him doing a PP in the light shrub and was suitably reprimanded. Then in the first half Pom went down clutching his hammy in pain and as he was close to the sideline the ref asked him to roly poly off the pitch so we could get on with the game. Pom obliged

Sem was finally given a run to boost his confidence by coach Marty and unbelievably broke his long drought without a goal (stretching all the way back to round 1)

At half time Marty asked if everyone was fit for the second half – with Pom out of ear shot his mate Dave covered him by letting Marty know Pom was done, for the season, possibly career ending

In the second half we added one more courtesy of Archie’s lethal left foot

Late in the game Sem was hit from behind harder than a rear end on the M4. Suffering whiplash which can only be caused by such a collision, Marty ran on and poured some cold water on his neck (not sure why, but what else do you do for whiplash?) The Ref showed no concern at all, instead asking Marty if he could buy the hat he was wearing off him

Match Report – 17.1 – Game Date: 19/07/2020

BMFC 17.1: 4
Lowland Wanderers SC: 0

BMFC Goal Scorers: Jake (2), Ash, Finn

Player of the Match: Players Player – Jacob; Coach’s & Parents – Jake

Match Report: It was a chilly early start with a bit of frost on the grass still in the shady parts of Knapsack main two as we put the nets up

Full squad available for the third week in a row although Coach Andy had gone down with a knee injury mid week at training – the Knapsack sniper striking again

Evenly matched for the first 15 minutes and then the first goal came courtesy of some good build up. Jacob received the ball in midfield and passed to Liam on the left edge of the 18 yard box and Liam’s angled cross was met in the air by Ethan and Jake hit the loose ball home

Jacob was having an excellent half. In the opposition box he bamboozled the defence with his tricks and step overs – I asked the boys on the bench if Jacob practices stepovers at school and was told yes he does, just walking around if he comes across any sort of object in front of him he will shimmy one way then the other & for smaller objects add a step over. Brilliant. Jacob also showed his defensive determination – on one memorable occasion sprinting back to midfield to nick the ball off an unsuspecting opponent from behind… loved the effort

The second goal came when Harry Burns had the ball at his feet on edge of the box and laid it off to Ash to hit a curling first time effort away from the keeper and into the corner of the net. Great finish

The third goal of the first half came from Finn who fired in from the right hand edge of the box. Another super strike

At half time we talked about keeping a clean sheet and going on with it in terms of a few more goals. We achieved one of the two

Sam was given a run up front as reward for scoring two goals in a trial match earlier in the year

The fourth goal came from an Ash corner, that bobbled around a bit and and Jake fired the loose ball home

Sam won a penalty after a driving run into the box and the ball was handled. Sam declined the opportunity to take the penalty instead leaving it to Ethan. Sam you should have had a crack. Ethan’s strike saved

We absorbed some pressure well from Lowlands as they pushed hard to get on the scoresheet – Luke making a great goal line clearance in the dying minutes to keep that clean sheet we wanted

Lots of top performances – Luke down the right and in defence, Jake in midfield, defence & two goals, Damo at CDM in the first half was excellent & as mentioned Jacob’s skill & effort

Match Report – AM.4 – Game Date: 19/07/2020

BMFC AM.4: 0
Colo Soccer FC: 3

BMFC Goal Scorers:

Player of the Match: The bus

Match Report: A full team bus was set to arrive at the home of football following “the game who’s name shall never be mentioned” last week, the lads keen to make amends, probably none more so than Niall with a Braveheart-esque spray on the team group chat early Saturday morning (following a few Guinness’ Friday night perhaps?)

But as the clock ticked closer to kick-off, Niall’s chat had turned from a “they will never take our freedom!” to a more sombre “you’ll have to go on without me…” while Joe was also suspiciously M.I.A.

So fourteen strong we were, more than one of those sweating pure alcohol (hydralite does nothing by the way Lachy) and the smell of butter chicken emanating from Rusty’s general direction.  Good to see our standards haven’t slipped.

We wound the clock back to 2004 Chelsea vs Spurs for inspiration this week – we intended to bring the bus, leave the bus firmly in front of Slash in goals, and throw away the keys.

And that we did! Colo was reduced to shots outside the box, while we looked to slip past them on the counter, Zac particularly full of running after resting up last week and replacing the Julius Marlow’s and designer overcoat for the footy clobber (editors note – Marty by comparison on the sideline this week looked like a hobo).

Colo managed to break the deadlock only after we butchered a clearance, and then found themselves at the penalty spot soon after when Ads couldn’t drag his monkey arm out of the way of a loose ball in the box. The ref could only raise an eyebrow when Ads questioned how his arm could be in an unnatural position, clearly thinking what we already knew – there is nothing natural about a bloke that’s 6 foot 2 with a 10-foot wingspan.  Penalty, team fine still stands.

Cometh the hour, cometh the Slash, holding his nerve and not committing early, beating away the shot with Kyle following through to clear the danger.

1-0 halftime, and with space starting to open up we fancied ourselves to claw it back.  Niall and Joe also phoned in updates – Joe was driving the porcelain bus and Niall was gonna come for a beer after he navigated the M4…

A bit more end-to-end in the 2nd half as we pushed for an equaliser, getting a few good looks on goal from corners and long throws but not being able to bundle it in.

Colo managed to punt one long against the run of play, a goal never a concern as Matty was in hot pursuit, until he somehow lost his legs from under him, not even bothering to feign a foul from the ball runner in a kind of ‘reverse-simulation’ scenario, Slash left all on his own to deal with the one on one…

2 goals down now and tempers started to flair – Felts booked for gentling guiding a Colo player away from a fracas by use of 2 open palms and a shoving action and new boy Kris being introduced to the 10-minute sin bin rule after attempting to educate the ref on what constitutes a foul throw, then questioning said referee’s overall knowledge of the rules in general.  More team fines for the kitty.

Matty took it upon himself to work the ball downfield, making a great run from halfway, beating 2 or 3 defenders (the story will be a run from deep within our half beating 8 or 9 defenders by year-end) and getting taken down on the edge of the box, then flailing and rolling all the way through the carpark and out to the street to ensure a free kick was given.

Ads fancied himself for the free kick, especially after the previous showings from Ghost and Felts, but joined them both on the list of ‘never to take again’ sending it harmlessly over.  Dre attempted one a few moments later from even further out, he too now on the naughty list.

Rod came closest to scoring with a nice pop on target, but tipped over the crossbar.  He also wouldn’t allow yellow cards being distributed without getting in on the action, teaching a far younger Colo opponent how to remove someone’s legs from their torso if they beat you down the sideline by doing just that to the young fella…

Time was running out now and the final nail in the coffin (or dent to Ads’ wallet) came when Slash tipped a swerving corner onto Ads head for an own goal.  Another boost to the kitty however.

3 nil final score and plenty improvement from the game who’s name shall never be mentioned, and we can only hope Joe is back to full health and Niall managed to get off the M4 as we have still not heard from either…

Match Report – O35.1 – Game Date: 12/07/2020

BMFC O35.1: 7
St Marys SC: 0

BMFC Goal Scorers: Archie (3), Paul (3), Thor

Player of the Match:

Match Report: An early foggy start out at the home of the Crazy Gang. The field was lush, green and deep – who knew what might be hidden in those plentiful blades of grass

Pom asked me who was out this week during the warm up and I told him Smudger, Davey & The Dentist. Pom said we’d miss Smudger & The Dentist, big losses

The first half was a tight affair. Tolly found himself a new best friend to play with in the centre of midfield. Only only one goal scored – a long range effort from Archie went straight over the keepers head and hands. Kev later made a call that this was due to the high cross bar

JB came off after going down in the long grass and feeling something sharp in his leg – turned out to be calf injury

We had lots of corners that seemed to go long, too long, nobody there

Goals came in the second half for us.

Sem got away down the left and put a super cross in that Thor hammered home at the far post. Paul headed home after the ball bobbled around a bit off another corner

I had to leave early and as I was leaving I saw Archie race clear and fire home for the fourth

Three more were scored, I didn’t see them as I wasn’t there but I am reliably informed one more to Archie & two more to Paul – so a hat trick each

Sold win and another clean sheet

Match Report – 17.1 – Game Date: 12/07/2020

BMFC 17.1: 2
Penrith Rovers FC: 1

BMFC Goal Scorers: Ash, Liam

Player of the Match: Players Player – Knobsy

Match Report: First game this season between two teams that have been very evenly matched every year starting at the under 14’s – each game is a huge battle and we expected exactly the same again today.

Both teams had a number of personnel changes from last year & were looking strong

The boys arrived ahead of Coach Mark – Knobsy kindly pointing out I was 6 minutes late…and where was Coach Andy? There he is…with my coffee. Good man

A big crowd was present – well, appropriate 1 per player by the pitch plus many more staying in their cars & still getting a good view of the game courtesy of Parker Street’s ideal car park to pitch position

Andy joined me in the technical area in his Managers jacket and the game was underway. The opening 15 minutes were a battle for supremacy with no clear chances I can recall

Around the 20 minute mark, the opening goal came. Ethan challenged the keeper in the air by the penalty spot and cleanly won the header. The ball fell to Ash to volley home into an empty net

A few minutes later and we went 2 up.

Harry B got the better of his opposite number in the centre of midfield and surged towards the top of the box – in the next challenge the ball broke to Liam in the box and he knocked the ball past the keeper

Late in the half Liam curled free kick from the left hand side of the box that the keeper did really well to tip onto the crossbar

At half time the focus of the chat was on game management. 2-0 is, as we all know, a dangerous lead

Early in the second half Andy was asked to leave the technical area by a ground official for not being the ‘official’ Manager

After being the more dominant side in the first half, the second was more even. No goals were scored until mid way through the half – Rovers pulling one back from the edge of the box, a shot curling beyond the outstretched Eli for once

Rovers started to push us back and had a number of corners and free kicks around the box. Our boys held firm time and again clearing the ball away.

Some sort of brew ha ha seemed to break out near the half way line on the spectators side. Who would be in the centre of this hubbub? Andy claimed his innocence post match – we all believed him

With ten to go the Rovers goalscorer bore down on our goal and Eli raced off his line and timed his dive at the players feet perfectly to smother the danger

We saw the game out and then belted out the club song – better than last week volume wise but the timing still needs improvement

A good win but as a 6 team comp these two sides should meet twice more this season so more battles to come

Players player Knobsy for doing an excellent job at the back marking the two wingers who swapped sides regularly

Match Report – IW.1 – Game Date: 12/07/2020

BMFC IW.1: 12
Hazelbrook FC: 0

BMFC Goal Scorers:

Player of the Match:

Match Report: The IW girls stormed the field today and then realised they couldn’t find the opposition due to the fog!

Sneaky Sarah M, our resident leftie, started the stream of scoring off a Maeve specialty cross. Things were looking good until Jess misjudged a bin for the net! Luckily, being the powerhouse she is, the bin didn’t stand a chance.

The girls then found their inner triangle Feng Shui and the opposition didn’t know where the ball was going to come from. Goals came fast and furious from Layla, Emily, Sarah, our rookie Tilly, Lexy and our resident zookeeper Jemma. Our defence Cari, Tamara and keepers Bella and Mim were like the Great Wall of China – easy to see, but hard to get around! Special mention to Briana who was our left right out!

Awesome group of girls no matter what the score!

Match Report – AM.4 – Game Date: 05/07/2020

BMFC AM.4: 1
Wentworth Falls FC: 0

BMFC Goal Scorers: Marty

Player of the Match: Knapsack Park grass cover

Match Report: The smell of freshly cut grass and Dencorub, the sound of strapping tape being vigorously applied, the sight of bloodshot eyes from the previous night’s bender – football was back!

Twas a glorious winter’s afternoon that greeted the lads at Knapsack – arguably the only winner from COVID with a cover of grass not seen since… ever. And now almost 100% asbestos-free after the removal of the old clubhouse, the air was electric.

The off-season transfer window was a busy time for the AA4s (nee 35.1 Whites) – with only 8 incumbents remaining and some youthful up and coming talent recruited, only one question remained unanswered – Did the gaffer get the mix of old and new right, or would this season be as fruitless as Spurs trying to win Europe?

Still short of a full-time keeper after the loss of Stevie Buffon to El Presidente’s David Smith’s squad (pending investigation into reports of brown paper bag payments), Lachy found an old pair of gloves last used to keep a clean sheet in 1987, and coupled with his debilitating shagger’s back injury from mid-week, he nominated to stand between the sticks.
And only missing Kris as his medical didn’t pass cut-off in time and Slash (I missed 90% of last season on a 14 week holiday) away on holiday, 4 on the bench gave us plenty of legs.

Wenty Falls were happy to knock the ball around and play out from the back, and we absorbed some early pressure, Kyle more than once clearing out danger in the box and Lachy making a couple of nice stops. We began getting the upper hand, Rod making plenty of probing runs from deep causing problems and a few testing shots from the forwards from outside the box as we tried to find our range.

The best chance of the half came when Matty whipped in a quick free-kick of his left boot and found Ads on the far post where he went for the dramatic swan-dive header when a simple tap-in volley would have probably done the job, the ball sailing harmlessly over the crossbar. Ghost stepped up for another free-kick just outside the box, but decided he would rather see just how high he could kick the Mitre, rather than attempt a shot on target, all and sundry agreeing that he can indeed kick the ball very, very high.

Half time, nil all.

Disregarding the numerous complaints from last season, Dre held the halftime sermon outside the women’s toilet block again, and was positively glowing over the first half performance while clearly starting to develop a few man-crushes over some of the new recruits.

And in true leadership fashion just to remind us to keep the intensity up, Dre received the back pass off the kick-off and gifted it straight to the oncoming striker, keeping the entire backline on their toes for the rest of the half. Crisis averted.

We picked up where we left off and arguably had all the running, creating plenty of chances and stifling the opposition when they had the ball, or catching them offside on plenty of occasions. The breakthrough finally came when Rod found space on the flank and picked out Marty with his cross, whose pre-season routine of beer and pizza paid dividends, controlling the ball with his magnificent guts before sticking his toe out and lobbing into the far post netting. Marty’s first goal since 2018 saw his management immediately start negotiating a goal bonus amendment to his contract.

Tails were up and we were moving the ball freely, and everyone wanted to get on the scoresheet – Rusty, Felts and Matty happy to shoot at will, Zac coming closest with a bolt that crashed into the crossbar, and Joe hitting a pure speculator form 35 yards out, stamping his arrival as a challenger to Dre’s cultured lobs.

Felts stepped up for a free-kick outside of the box that favoured his left hoof, but his ego wouldn’t allow Ghost to win the highest kick of the day award, sending it into the stratosphere and would have landed on the clubhouse roof if it was still standing. Golf claps all-round.

Niall found himself with room on the edge in the dying stages, and with the entire team, opposition, supporters and officials yelling “Shoot” the ball got more lost between his legs than an Irishman in hiding with an expired Visa, he became a bit overwhelmed and decided to have a bit of a lie down instead.

1-0 final score, 3 points in the bag and the fan base believing that this could be a season to remember.