Match Report – AM.4 – Game Date: 23/08/2020

BMFC AM.4: 0
vs
Colo Soccer FC: 5

BMFC Goal Scorers:

Player of the Match: The esky

Match Report: Fondue is a Swiss melted cheese dish served in a communal pot over a portable stove heated with a candle or spirit lamp, and eaten by dipping bread into the cheese using long-stemmed forks.

It also apparently makes for a good dinner party, and Zac and Lachy arrived at Colo looking exactly as one would expect someone to look after consuming 5kg of cheese and bread, washed down with copious amounts of the devil’s drink, and minimal sleep.

But thankfully they managed to turn up (and avoid appearing on RBT) as Niall was a late scratching, so too Joe as his dog ate his homework again.

But the biggest cheer was saved for the triumphant return of the esky, missing for well over a week without a trace and fears for the worst – caretaker Dirty informing us that a wheel had fallen off, but otherwise fit and well.

And without anyone willing to volunteer for the gloves, fate stepped in as the Blueys 7s were playing the game prior – enter our old GK Stevie Buffon stepping up to play back-to-back games in a deal brokered by his coach el Presidente for only a small appearance fee of a few tins of Tooheys New, consumed entirely by said el Presidente over the course of the match.

Ads won the toss but somehow picked the direction of the howling gale incorrectly, leaving us to fight against “a 4 goal breeze” in the 1st half.  Plenty of goal kicks for Dre to practice – most barely clearing the 18-yard box against the gale or Dre electing to find touch for a lineout instead.

There were chances created up front to get in behind the line, but new dad Matty’s final passes were softer than talcum powder on a new born’s skin and Ads’ arms were caught 4m offside a couple of times while his body remained onside.

Another game, another yellow for new boy Kris, this time for simulating getting hit right in front of the ref who would not stand for any Days of our Lives ham acting on his watch, luckily el Presidente had his head in our esky at the time so didn’t have to bear witness.

Down by 3 at the half, Dre spent almost the entire 15 min break looking to blame others for his goal kicks but with a 4 goal breeze at our back and “more through balls played that half than all season” he fancied us to get right back in it. 

But most importantly the esky was still with us.

And we dominated the first 10 mins of the new half.  Lachy stepped up to take our first corner but was waved off the ball by Dre who ran 70m from centre-back to take it, clearly chomping at the bit to have a kick with the wind at his back for a change, the resulting effort probably in the field of play for all of 5m before swinging harmlessly over the by-line … Dre stripped of corner duties for the foreseeable future.

And from a free kick soon after, Kyle had worked his way into the box and was Johnny-on-the-spot to bundle in the scraps after a bit of pinball action, but the linesman’s flag denying the left back his first and probably last chance to score this year…

After being injury-free all year, we lost Marty then Ghost in quick succession  – this left it up to the Fondue brothers to shake off the dust and play some football, Zac hitting the woodwork and Lachy (who would later rate his performance today as “pretty good”) running around like a headless chook to get something going up front.

The only further highlight was Dre finally latching onto a beauty and sending it 70m downfield; unfortunately, this was an attempted pass to Felts who was only 10m away …

Big thanks to Stevie again for taking the gloves, thanks to el Presidente for leaving us a couple of tins and thanks to the esky for just being you.