Match Report O35.2 (11-08-2013)

Match Report O35.2 (11-08-2013)





Henry Lawson



Match Report

Simple equation today – don’t lose and we have a great day out at the GF to look forward to in two weeks time. A few out again this week (Buggy still in Mykonos, disco-dancing his way through the European summer; Psycho running in just his bright pink budgie smugglers in the City-to-Surf and The Kaiser’s shoulder still sore after a great diving save last week). Rush was the nominated first sub – having to earn his place back in the team after a week away.

First half was Harry’s turn between the sticks – he kicked when he should have picked it up and picked it up when he should have kicked but still managed to keep a clean sheet. At the other end of the park, La Celeste bagged himself a hat-trick in the first half hour – running onto a great through ball from Uncle Chop Chop to nod in after the keeper parried his initial shot; nodding in again at the far post off an Ipswich cross and the third one I can’t remember. Two more goals in the first half – one from Captain Underpants, a header from Choppy’s cross and a Zap pile driver.

Dicky went off early in the first half with a sore calf meaning another two weeks in the hyperbaric chamber (deja vu to this time last year) trying to be ready for the GF.

In the second half with the game won, the gloves were thrown the way of Ipswich. His request to the defence was simple, ‘just don’t let them shoot’. One minute into the second half and they shot and somehow Ipswich saved – miracle! This set the platform for unbelievably a clean sheet.

The second half was all about getting Hornswoggle off the nudie run – talking of nudes, JB did his best to set his bruder up for a goal but alas it was not to be. The only goal of the half went to Harry with a back post pass into the net off a corner. Ipswich was solid as a rock thus earning Man Of The Match by ensuring Lawson were not allowed back in the game.

Hope to see as many fans of old men chasing a ball around a rectangular pitch down at Jamison Park in a couple of weeks time. Oh, and as an added incentive, Hornswoggle has promised to do his nudie run in a Borat style mankini at the conclusion of the game if he fails to score on the day (and thus the season) – ladies, one for the diary!

Photo: Ipswich strikes fear into the opposition centre forward with his Hulk like arms, extraordinary large hands and eight year old girl legs.


Goal Scorers

La Celeste (3), Captain Underpants, Zap, Harry.

Player of the Match

Ipswich – ‘Banks’ like