Match Report – O35.1 – Game Date: 28/05/2017

BMFC O35.1: 8
vs
Penrith FC: 0

BMFC Goal Scorers: Ibra (2), Lowndsey (2), JB, Mick, Paul, The Dentist

Player of the Match: Potty

Match Report: The big question on everyone’s lips upon arrival at The Sack was ‘who would the Gaffer leave out?’ after we had all seen but chosen to ignore his Saturday evening text – ‘full squad of 17 available this week lads, only 16 can go on the team sheet – anyone harbouring an injury and could do with a week off?’

Rash, it turned out, had responded, asking if he could get a run up front and The Gaffer interpreted that as a request for a week off

With Rash out of the heart of defence, it opened the door for Potty Mouth to make his long awaited come back. Potty had used his last four Sundays wisely, attending Ice Man’s regular clinic of ‘The Art of Calmness and Politeness’ at a tranquil setting

We learnt just before kick off that Penrith had the opposite problem to ourselves – with only 8 available to start the match. The Gaffer started with the first team on the field and a very weak bench of Ibra, Lowndes, Brad, Joey & The Dentist! The first half objective was for the A team to tire the 8 out and soften them up to make it easy for the B team to come on and finish them off

The A team did their job and then some – keeping a clean sheet and putting three in the oppositions net – Paulie, Mick & Captain Underpants all getting off the nudey run. We could have had more but the stand in opposition keeper made a number of great saves

The half time words of instruction centred on staying onside and those guilty listened and nodded – meanwhile the Umbilical Brothers warmed up on the pitch some 50 yards away and out of earshot. Wholesale half time changes were made including the Umbilical Brothers into the forward line who were then found offside on numerous occasions

The A team had done their part now it was down to the B team to finish the job. They duly produced with the Umbilical Brothers getting a brace each and the The Dentist extracting one for himself too

Showing that the Double Fist is in the genes, The Gaffer produced a classic as the ball sailed over the side line followed by a subtle tip of the pork pie to brother Kev in goal

After the game the squad gathered for a team photo and everyone’s alter ego came to the fore…