Match Report – O35.1 – Game Date: 7 June 2015

BMFC O35.1: 1
vs
Colo Soccer FC: 3

BMFC Goal Scorers: Iceman

Player of the Match: Sean Burns

Match Report: It all started when Chicken had a banana for breakfast and left the skin lying around without telling anybody about it.

The fog was lifting off the lowland moors in an eerie silence as we arrived at Cougar Park for our second encounter with Colo. Much to our dismay, there was no sign of a cougar anywhere. This perhaps explained Rhett’s absence.

Visibility was our main concern. Fifteen players wandered around blindly in the thick fog for 30 minutes before Sean Burns came to the rescue and sent out at a text with specific directions to an assembly point. As we sat in a circle silently preparing ourselves for the battle ahead, the fog started to lift. Miraculously out of the rising fog a vision of two objects appeared on the outskirts of the circle, Pommy’s missing left sock and matching shin-pad. How they got to be in the middle of a football field 30km north-west of their natural habit, nobody knows… This only added to the eeriness of the morning. It should have been an omen of things to come.

Sean was quick to lead us through our warm-up drill followed by a small square possession routine which Pauley invented with the aim of getting us out of the blocks quickly. The team was read out, 14 strong, missing Matty Witjes, JB and Naughty Corey who is still waiting with his thumb out on Old Bathurst Road for the lift that never arrived. Colo put forward their standard 11 strapping farmers with no requirement for any substitutes.

The game begins, and the Blueys quickly settled into their “possession is 9/10th of the game” style of football, thanks to Pauley’s pre-match routine. They were rewarded soon after with a penalty which The Iceman reliably slotted low and left. Blueys up 1-0 and looking forward to what looked like an easy Sunday morning stroll in the park. Little did they know that would be the happiest they would feel all day.

Cracks began to appear, perhaps as a result of complacency or more like Chicken’s misplaced banana peel. Colo countered with a couple of good chances, with strikers appearing out of thin air with the ball at their feet in the middle of the Bluey’s penalty box. Only to be denied by some good seventies style saves from Danny (Marquee) Margetts.

Dave Hayman was quick to identify the problems with a flurry of abuse to nobody in particular, only to be advised that the farmers wives and children on the sideline were beginning to be offended.

Colo, inspired by the on-field tension, equalised shortly after thanks to another eerie re-appearance of an unmarked player and consolidated by some meditation induced sleepiness from Pommy, leaving his man to scoop up some scraps from a Margetts parry and slot and easy finish.

Things could have improved from there, but they didn’t. More on-field haggling and Blueys found themselves behind 2-1. An injury to our main-stay sweeper Brad Collier only added to the woe, and we went into the half time break on the wrong side of the score card.

Some calming words by just about everybody except the absent coach Joe provided the Blueys with some much needed inspiration to set about losing the second half in spectacular fashion.

What followed was 45 minutes of possession without penetration. We were beginning to look like Hugh Heffner in his mansion. Blueys probably enjoyed 85% possession while Colo, sniffing a prize scalp, enrolled the support of Westbus and came out with a well parked bus and eleven capable farmers, turned bus drivers.

The chance of an equaliser looked unlikely. Chicken shed a bit of claret and Andy Cartman who was looking good on debut went over with a nasty shoulder injury. Pauley requested that Andy be unceremoniously rolled from the field so that we could “get on with things”. And get on with things we did with Pommy obligingly knocking a terrible cross field 40 yarder straight to the Colo midfield. The ensuing confusion resulted in another Colo goal and Pommy experiencing the wrath of newly appointed substitute manager. Hooked with 10 minutes to go, Pommy explained to Brad “I’m not injured”, to which Brad replied “I know”. A huge blow to an otherwise untouched ego.

End result 3-1 and man of the match being awarded to Sean Burns who was solid amidst his poorly performing troops. Other notable mentions in the “Not completely 5%#t category went to Marty Dunn and Danny Margetts. All credit to the Colo boys who just wanted it more than us. No more bananas for Chicken on match day.